value.

for m.f.

today
you told me
that you can always see
the shades of grey, somewhere
between the black and the white.

but not this time, you said
and somehow that was comforting, a feeling
that cut through the numbness
in my fingers and heart and head
and i wished it would last forever.

i walked away
in my housecoat personality, wanting
to stay longer on that sidewalk,
thinking how said you could go a long time
without acknowledging
that anyone even exists.

and in that moment,
i envied you.